Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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