im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
this will be a night to untag.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I need to sanitize my soul.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize