ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You ate ashes out of my bong
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize