Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
God I need to hump something, right now.
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