I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i came on her dog
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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