Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
