i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
