wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
