You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
