is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
