You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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