Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
