I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
