I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
There was a lot of him and a little penis
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
