ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Jerry, you need to find god
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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