Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
