Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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