i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
