I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
