at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He felt like a one man threesome
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
