i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
