She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize