careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I am available for nakedness
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
