If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
