since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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