Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
