So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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