I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
