Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
