I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
