Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
