Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
