Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
