in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
