If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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