ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
