i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize