dude i'm inner monologue high
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
