I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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