why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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