I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize