I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
