I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
