so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
