Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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