I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
