oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
