The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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