so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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