you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize