Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
