yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
