I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
