no, he came in my armpit
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
