Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
