Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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