We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
