I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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