Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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