what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
