Pappa wants mamma naked
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
