I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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