i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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