Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
