we have officially lost it.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize