I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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