But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
