I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
