so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize