So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
