Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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