Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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