Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my being single is dangerous.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
As shirtless as possible
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
