Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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