Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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