super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
