The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
