So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
